Emerson Worst - Re-enacting Anger

 Emerson Worst - Re-enacting Anger

April 27th 2026

    Sometimes, I find myself delving into the recesses of my mind to access some of my deepest memories. Sometimes I can recall the event very specifically, and even act like I'm living in it again. However, this has only happened to me with BAD memories. To be specific, memories that I did not like forming. To be even MORE specific, memories from when I was in Cross Country.
    It's been interesting to think about, why I keep going back to these memories, but what's even more interesting is that I fin myself getting artificially angry in them. I can imagine myself yelling, screaming, pouring my entire mind out through the fire and steam in my mouth. It's very interesting, and I think I understand why that is.
    It's because in those memories, I have something I regret doing. That, or something I wish I did different. Because most of the time, I kind of just silently muscled it all up, wishing, wanting to let it all out. Call it fear of punishment, fear or losing something, whatever the case, I think I finally understand why I keep going back to these memories in anger. I regretted being the one that just stood by and took everything negative, and I let that hate pour into me. Since I didn't like the position I was being forced into, (I did NOT what to join the Cross Country club), I got very angry. But because it's all gone now, I am unable to do anything different, so instead, I imagine if I did.

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